Have you ever asked that question as it relates to your faith? “What am I expecting in my connection with God?” I asked myself that question today, and you might find my answers intriguing.
So in this new journey with God that I’m on, and really in this journey I’ve always been on since I first learned about God, expectations have always been a tricky thing. I have my expectations, but then there are also the expectations that scripture gives you. What you want is not necessarily what is said will be given to you. What matters to you may not necessarily matter in the grand scheme of things in the plan laid out in scripture. So we have to kind of grapple with our own expectations.
What have I expected?
Personally, I’ve always expected some sense or feeling that I am connecting with God. In another post I wrote a long time ago, I was very transparent about the fact that I don’t ever get any feeling or sense that my faith and God is real. I only on an intellectual and personal choice choose to believe my faith and God being a real thing in my life. But I wish I could get more of that sense and feeling of such. I mimic so much of the things I’ve read people have done in scripture, bowing face down before God in prayer as some did, singing the psalms that were sung by the apostles, and in general participating in so many actions man did in scripture to engage with God more.
But still nothing really, but maybe I’m expecting too much. I don’t know exactly what my expectations have been all the time but just to take a stab at it, maybe I’ve expected the voice of God booming in my ear. Maybe a clear vision in my mind of what my future is that will happen. Maybe a sign of something that I really desire is going to happen. That’s the closest I can surmise.
Strong assurance = desired outcome?
I have friends of faith who’ve had the strongest assurances about what God communicated to them about what would happen in their life and also the desires they had that would happen. The journey of how those things would happen wasn’t always a clear one, but their lives ultimately ended up that way. A friend who believed she was supposed to do a certain job and she’s doing it now, a friend that believed and desired she was supposed to be living near the capital of the United States and she’s there now, and another friend of mine who always believed she was going to get married and she now has a husband and a beautiful baby boy now.
Honestly, the only thing I’ve ever found myself strongly assured about with regards to my faith is salvation. But I’ve had strong beliefs in something maybe being the thing that will happen in my life, and about things I strongly desired that I hoped would happen, and honestly, time and time again I’ve been left disappointed on those fronts. I haven’t gotten the job I may have really wanted, I haven’t gotten the woman I may have really hoped would be wife, and things have still remained somewhat the same that I’ve been waiting and working for change on for the longest time. And all through this, other than my choice to believe in something that is greater than me and my true admiration for the words I read in scripture which I’m blessed to read, I don’t get any sense of connection with God.
In this time period of about a little over a month so far, I’ve found myself waiting for something. Looking for something to happen as I continue to read scripture daily, look to the sky and talk to God daily, and just try to do my best to obey God daily. Doing different things in my life hoping for some way to end up being a straight path in my life. But I wanna believe some things will be clear eventually, because really, the alternative would be pretty grim. Thankfully the optimism which has always stirred inside of me will always continue to believe in something better happening.
So what have you expected in your connection with God?
Peace to you all in Christ.